I qualified as the former, having
been with my girlfriend even longer than Prince William and Kate Middleton were
before they got engaged (eight-and-a-half years to be precise). We were also
living together, so even though I had a few moments of doubt, I was pretty
confident of the outcome. Saying that, the stakes were high, as a 'no' would
have been pretty disastrous for our relationship!
For those in the latter category,
you may have less to lose (you may not be living together etc.), but you will
also be far less confident of getting the right answer.
So, should you propose to your girlfriend?
First and foremost, guard against
a lust-fuelled decision. Those early months of a relationship are like a night
on the sparkling – heady and fun-filled – and are not representative of the lifetime
commitment a proposal warrants.
Ask yourself some basic
questions. Do I have a relationship with her family? Could we live together? Do
we trust each other? Do we want the same things in life? The answer to all of
these should be 'yes'.
Timing is also important. One of
the reasons I waited longer than I might have is because proposing during university
or while living at home didn't make sense. We had no money and no privacy –
hardly conducive to married life.
All this being said, ultimately
you should feel the answer to this question – it's one that should come from
the heart. Deep down you'll know if she's the one. If she is your soul mate,
you'll be more focussed on making sure she remembers the proposal forever than
worrying about whether she's going to say 'yes'.
